Adlut partner

driving issues/control

2018.06.29 00:43 Jalessandra driving issues/control

My partner and I have been in our second relationship for 15 years, we're both very indepdant and appreciate that about eachother, but in the past 2 years we rarely do anything together. He's not comfortable being away from home for some reason, I just can't figure it out. Other than that our relationship is golden. Recently we returned from a road trip out of state, we agree to split the driving, we were comfrotable driving up and he had a pleasant ride, even though at times he wanted me to accelerate when I wasn't comfortable doing that. I was driving steady at 75, and slowed down when the speed limit decrease. I'm a confident driver, having drivin on some dicey roads in Europe while living there. On the way back however I got car sick in the passenger seat, feeling extreamly nasueous and feeling a migrane coming on. I didn't bring my meds along because I didn't anticipate this. He was commenting on all the stupid drivers, going 70 in 45 curvey zones and woudln't stop for until driving 6 hours with no bathroom breaks. He started yelling saying I don't "trust" him and that I should shut up and tough it out, and if I felt sick to go lay down in the back seat. He wouldn't slow down, and said slowing down actually causes accidents and to go with the flow. He was adamant on getting back home at a certain time even though we both had no plans and the next day off. He doesn't like going away from home and I do many excursions on my own to see my grown kids where they live either by plane or car. The last time we went a way was 2 years ago for his sister's wedding and he was really anxious, especially at the airport. He does have complusive issues with keeping things orderly and organized, and has a "plan" for pretty much everything in his life. This is our second relationship. When we finally stopped for 5 mins.he said if I didn't care for his driving to get out,I couldn't move from the dizziness and pain. I insisted that I felt sick but he just wasn't hearing me. We made it back and he's ranting about the trust issue and I need some tools to address this situation. What is this? He has had some explosive episodes in the past, and repaired them in a very concious adlut mannaer, was 100% accountable for behaving like a child.
Again please advise me with how to apprach this matter, he made a vow never to travel with me, but I know there's somehting else going on here.
Thank you
submitted by Jalessandra to relationship_advice [link] [comments]